Thought for the Day: The people who are late are often much jollier than the people who have to wait for them
Try to be brave
In America a tree has been chopped down.
I know, when I heard the news it reminded me of that tragic Sunday morning when we woke up to the shocking reality that Princess Diana was dead.
The woodwork in question stood to the left of the 17th hole at Augusta National and was called Ike’s tree, in memory of president Eisenhower, who hated it so much (because he kept hitting his ball into it), he lobbied the golf club’s management committee to have it removed. Demonstrating where real power lies, the president of Augusta National over-ruled the president of the United States and the tree remained. Until now, that is. Having been storm-damaged beyond salvage the arboreal wonder was cut down a couple of weeks ago. But you would think something far more significant had happened to hear Augusta’s take on the subject.
Speaking with all the ponderous solemnity that characterises pronouncements from the home of the Masters, its chairman Billy Payne said: ‘The loss of the Eisenhower Tree is difficult news to accept. We obtained opinions from the best arborists available and, unfortunately, were advised that no recovery was possible. We have begun deliberations of the best way to address the future of the 17th hole and to pay tribute to this iconic symbol of our history. Rest assured, we will do both appropriately.’
For heaven’s sake get a sense of perspective Billy – it was a damned tree.
Get thee behind me
Another silly pronouncement from America, this time from a golfer. Patrick Reed is only 23 but took up position centre stage earlier this month by winning the second WGC event of the year, the Cadillac Championship. He went into the final round with a two-stroke advantage, made a solid par 72 and managed to win by one, recording his third victory since August last year.
He clearly doesn’t lack courage or chutzpah, choosing to wear black trousers and a red shirt, Tiger’s habitual last-round wardrobe when he’s in contention, as if to emphasise that there’s a new kid on the block ready to challenge the fading champion. Woods, incidentally, withdrew with back problems.
To underscore his obviously high opinion of himself, after collecting his trophy Reed said: ‘I’m one of the top-five golfers in the world. (the win actually lifted him to 20th in the world rankings) I believe it.’
Many of those watching, including myself, had to loudly say: ‘Birdieparbogey’ and turn around three times on the spot, lest we should be struck by the same malevolent golfing gods that are no doubt, at this very moment, planning unspeakable revenge for such hubris.
Inevitable, really
At the annual PGA Merchandising show in Orlando, Florida, there was a stand promoting the John Daly Pizza. The company slogan is: ‘Grip it and Eat it.’
No more secrets
Vijay Singh has never been the most popular golfer in the world, even among other golfers. But his current legal battle with the US PGA Tour is winning him a few friends and allies, even if they’re not yet prepared to publicly say so. It started in January last year when Singh admitted to using deer antler spray, which he did not realise was banned under the PGA Tour anti-doping policy because it could contain a proscribed performance-enhancer connected to human growth hormone called Insulin-like Growth Factor-1 (IGF-1).
He was suspended from the Tour pending investigation but when the World Anti-Doping Agency told the PGA Tour that, if the spray does contain the banned substance, it is such a tiny amount that it could not possibly enhance Singh’s performance, his suspension was lifted. In fact he had continued to play but his winnings were held in escrow until the issue was settled.
And that, you might think, would be the end of that. But Vijay is an angry man who believes he was treated unfairly (because at least one other golfer had used the spray and simply been told to stop) and that his reputation has been damaged.
But the reason why his lawsuit (which some are describing as frivolous) is being watched so early carefully is that it may shed light on one of the great mysteries of the PGA Tour – namely, the sort of fines it hands out to misbehaving golfers. These are never discussed or publicised (the same applies on the European Tour) but in order to demonstrate that he was treated unjustly, Vijay’s lawsuit is demanding that details of punishments meted out to other golfers be released, so that they can be compared to the way he was treated.
There is a precedent. Just over four years ago the PGA Tour was obliged to release John Daly’s disciplinary record. Over an 18-year career of considerable naughtiness, in which he had been disciplined on numerous occasions, it was revealed that he had been fined less than $100,000 in total – an amount he could easily pick up from just one corporate outing. Little wonder than that Tour commissioner Tim Finchem wants to keep the whole disciplinary process under wraps, while others are hoping to see everything brought out into the open.
Quote of the Week
Golf is probably the only known game a man can play as long as a quarter of a century and then discover it was too deep for him in the first place
Seymour Dunn (grandson of Willie Dunn Sr)